When I was young, I thought of myself as a Divine Healer. A Creator. An ascended Master. I knew I had a purpose but I couldn’t put it into words or hope or truth. I couldn’t find the exact way I was meant to serve but it was this deep inner knowing, this mystery inside of me and connection with God, the Truth, the Angels and Jesus, before I was even receiving channeled messages, that held me on to the hope of survival here, because that’s what this planet is. It’s a school for sure, but also survival training, until we can truly learn and begin to thrive, that being my ultimate goal. So when I was young, I have this beautiful memory of swaying and dancing with the trees. I had a little Barbie boombox, as in meant for the size of dolls, and you know it was pink, lol, and I was playing it and I felt the trees respond. I was standing on a rock, swaying, with the wind, waving my arms in the air, and the trees seemed to move with me. I think this was my first memory of feeling connected to something outside of myself, something larger than myself. While I had always loved, admired and had a special connection to nature, God and the angels, this memory really sticks out.
There are many memories of youth, the trials, and traumas, but then these sweet moments of awareness and purity that really leap a soul forward.
I would love to help guide children on this Earth, too. They are sensitive souls. I was a sensitive and didn’t realize it. While told I was, it wasn’t in the nicest of ways. I am not blaming anyone, but the fact is sometimes we are born into harsher environments, home life, family life, school life, the actual environment, being it urban or suburban. And these all have challenges and lessons to present us. I just want to say a disclaimer right now to my family. I am not saying you were a harsh environment. Not at all. I was a highly sensitive child who was abused by another friend and as I grew up, I realized this shaped my ability to trust people. When I got my period, it was like holy sh*t f*ck because I was suddenly a woman and everything just hit me really hard given my experiences as a child. But perhaps that’s a story for another time.
Getting back to the title of this writing today, Slipping into the Awakened Goddess. Whether we know it or not, these times, these rites of passage, are all moments of awakening. Our time spent talking to the Earth, our time spent healing, loving and forgiving those around us, our times walking the school halls and feeling like no one could possibly understand us, as we felt so unique and different and like no one could have possibly have had the same life experiences as us, but yet still, always feeling this overwhelming love for humanity and to be of service, knowing that I was different for a reason, and all the life paths I had chosen before my incarnation served a much higher purpose than my Ego self could see at the time.
It’s hard. I know it is. I know it was very hard for my parents, especially my mother and I can’t imagine it until I have children and a family myself. What it is like to see your child find her way in the world, especially while feeling different and experiencing health challenges, personal traumas and just trying to fit in, until accepting that she might not fit in. That was actually an extremely powerful healing that happened about a year and half ago between my mother and me. She told me she truly accepted me and loved me for who I am; she realized I didn’t fit into the mold of what our community society is and that was okay. I felt the compassion and love as truth. It was her personal religious relationship with God and Jesus that got her there, and for that I am eternally grateful. I was already working on loving and forgiving myself and healing my eating disorder/overeating and binge eating and food addiction, and that work I did combined with her statement was a powerful force of love, launching me into the next phase of blossoming in my life. So I love you, Mom. Thank you for being as much a teacher in my life as you say I am in yours. We are growing and journeying together always. Love and Peace. ❤ xo
Why am I writing all of this today? A deeply personal and true account of my young life. Well I am beginning to see how it is important to express the deepest truths of oneself, to share and open up. It is only by that way that we can touch the lives of others. How are others to know they are not alone or unique in their experiences if they cannot see others go through similar trials? And to know, there is hope and faith and love and God and angels guiding them through always. Even if you are not tapped in, as I only awakened a few years ago to be able to hear God, angels and messages and that in itself shall be a story for another time; my point being, you never know where life can take you. Trust and open up to the process of life. I love you all.
Peace, Infinite Knowing and Expansion are all for you today.
I love you.
Spiritual energy of Grace, Peace and Love is all yours. xoxo. Namaste.
Photo by Daina White.